


The Right Thing

by ladysockalot



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-12
Updated: 2009-12-12
Packaged: 2017-10-17 20:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/180667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladysockalot/pseuds/ladysockalot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Merlin has ever tried to do is to do the right thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Right Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Minor allusions to 2x12. Character death alluded to.

Merlin is tired of doing the right thing. The right thing leads to death and destruction and pain. The right thing leaves the death of a friend on his conscience and reminds him of the future death of the person he is closest to. The right thing leads to his heart feeling heavy and never being able to shed enough tears.

Perhaps Morgana, Morgause and Mordred have it right. Perhaps one shouldn't try and do the right but do what they wished. Maybe that way Merlin would be spared everything he feels. Besides, the right thing has never worked out. People still die and the end will come. Perhaps those things occur because he is doing the right thing.

He thinks that a lot these days. Yes, Arthur is king and Albion is forged every day but Merlin knows this cannot end well. He's only ever tried to do the right thing, but the right thing has led to a future he has seen and wishes he could change. Yet the moment to change it has passed.

He's tried going into the past, to counsel his younger self and tell him to listen to the dragon about Mordred but to speak to Morgana as a friend so as not to force her to become an enemy. Yet, for all his power he cannot change the past. Oh, he has tried, night after night. When the nightmares become so bad he cannot stand it he goes up the battlements and tries to see into the past.

Once he looked upon the heavens and the lights of Camelot with hope, but now he has so little left. It is all his fault. He did this and he cannot shake the guilt. Despite that he doesn't agonise on doing the right thing really any more. The damage was done years ago. He will protect Arthur for eternity and beyond. Every death he feels a little less. He is doing the right thing.

He just wonders if his younger self would think the price worth it.

Before he hears anything he feels a strong hand on his shoulder. He turns to see Arthur, not fully awake, gazing at him with concern and love.

Oh how he wants to tell Arthur how hard it is. He's told Arthur about the past; about everything. But Arthur doesn't understand, not really.

"I..." Merlin whispers. He can't communicate everything. He can feel his eyes welling up with tears.

Arthur says nothing. He just slips his hands into Merlin's own and holds it; a warm strong loving gesture.

Standing there with Arthur here with him Merlin feels that doing the right thing might hurt his heart, and always will, but it has also brought him great joy. The sun rises and Camelot is bathed in golden light and Merlin allows his heart to lift a little as Arthur leads him back to bed. Arthur is worth the price, and for Arthur Merlin will always strive to do the right thing.


End file.
